Borderland

When we humans believe we are approaching an explanation of consciousness - whether in research, spiritual or philosophical approaches - a new question often opens up behind it. Like doors leading to more doors, room after room.

There is something beautiful in that, considering the brief moment we get to be human in the long history of the universe.

We get to think, feel, wonder, and sometimes pause before things greater than our current understanding.

No matter how we approach it, we seem to repeatedly meet at the same horizon - where more knowledge transitions into even more wonder.

And indeed, the mere thought can be quite dizzying - when we study and philosophize about consciousness, consciousness tries to understand itself. That is where the three paths meet - science, philosophy, and spiritual seeking - in the same silent wonder at something that none of them alone can encompass.

It's almost as if you suddenly discover a strange thought loop:

I think.

Then I think about me thinking.

Then I start to wonder who or what is observing that I am thinking.

And quite soon, it feels like the ground is slightly disappearing beneath my feet.

I remember such a moment. Nothing grand - I was sitting still, and the thought came by itself. I no longer wondered what I was thinking about, but who it was that was thinking. That was enough. Something detached from the familiar.

We are used to directing our attention outwards - towards people, nature, work, stars, atoms.

But when attention turns to consciousness itself, something strange happens. The tool that investigates also becomes what is investigated.

It's like trying to see your own eyes without a mirror.

Or a flashlight trying to shine on its own light source.

It's no wonder philosophers have struggled with this for thousands of years.

And what fascinates me is that the further you follow that train of thought, the less self-evident much of what we normally take for granted becomes.

What exactly is an "I"?

Where does consciousness end and the world begin?

Are thoughts something we create, or something we discover?

Why is there an experience of being someone behind the eyes?

These questions do not belong solely to the spiritual. They arise as soon as a person begins to observe their own experience carefully enough.

And you can arrive at the same wonder from completely different directions:

A neuroscientist studying the brain.

A philosopher analyzing the nature of consciousness.

A person meditating.

Or a child who suddenly asks: "But who am I?"

Different languages. Same mystery.

I have always felt drawn to Socrates. I almost trust his wisdom most through the statement:

"I know that I know nothing."

In my world, I translate his way of living roughly like this:

"Don't believe anything just because some authority says so. Not even me. Investigate. Reflect. Feel. Be curious. Humble. And dare to live with questions rather than answers."

The most fascinating thing about the mystery of consciousness is that the questions never seem to have a beginning - and never an end. The more one understands, experiences, and realizes, the more perspectives open up. Spiritual seeking lives right there, in that movement. In wonder, exploration, and the courage to keep asking even when answers are slow to come.

Here on Earth, we may never be able to fully encompass the universe's full grandeur.

One might say that it is precisely why wonder continues to follow us, no matter how far we come - with one foot in what we believe we know and the other in what we do not yet understand.

In the borderland.

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