Shadow Work – facing what we didn't want to see
Today I want to go a little deeper.
For behind everything called development, awakening and inner journey there is an area that we gladly avoid because it requires both courage, patience and a large portion of honesty:
the shadow.
What does the concept mean?
The concept of “shadow” in both psychological and spiritual contexts comes from Carl Gustav Jung*, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who lived between 1875 and 1961. He was one of the first who began to explore the unconscious in depth and described how parts of our personality that we do not want to identify with are pushed aside and form what he called “the shadow”. Jung meant that real development is not about becoming brighter – but about becoming whole.
*Carl Gustav Jung was a pioneer in depth psychology and laid the foundation for analytical psychology. He introduced concepts such as the collective unconscious, archetypes and individuation – the process of becoming the person you essentially are. His interest in the spiritual showed early through his fascination with dreams, symbols and the unconscious, but also through his own inner experiences – as well as a frustration that his father, who was a priest, could not give answers to his questions, while his mother carried a more mystical and intuitive side. Through his work he often moved in the borderland between psychology and what even today cannot be fully explained.
What is the shadow really?
The shadow is not “the evil”. It is the we have learned that we are not allowed to be.
It can be:
- anger
- envy
- need for control
- shame
- need for confirmation
- vulnerability
- strength we have not dared to take place in and similar
All that which at some point was not accepted – by the surroundings, or by ourselves. So we pushed it aside. But nothing just disappears - it is instead moved into the unconscious.
What does shadow work mean?
Shadow work is about:
→ become aware of what has been hidden
→ dare to feel it
→ understand it
→ and finally – either a) change it, or b) accept it and learn to live with it, so that it no longer rules
So it is not about “fixing yourself” - it is about stopping running away from yourself.
How can one approach it?
Not by pressing or analyzing it apart. It instead begins with becoming more aware of yourself in everyday life and taking time to listen inward.
The shadow often shows itself indirectly as for example:
- in strong reactions to others
- in triggers
- in recurring patterns
- in what we judge
- in what we avoid
And some simple questions we can ask ourselves at the moment when we notice a strong or uncomfortable reaction, in ourselves or in our own behavior can for example be:
- What in this actually belongs to me?
- What does this awaken in me?
- Why just now?
- Have I felt this before?
-
If yes, when did it start?
- Am I reacting to what is actually happening?
- Or to something older?
- What do I really need - right now?
It is about:
→ stop
→ become curious instead of judging
→ and create a little distance between you and the reaction
And sometimes it is enough to just notice:
“This is something in me that is happening – but it is not the whole me.”
That is where something begins to change.
How dark can it be?
Here we need to be honest because shadow work can actually become quite heavy.
Sometimes you meet:
- old wounds
- repressed memories
- feelings you have not had access to
- parts of yourself you are ashamed of
It can feel like:
- confusion
- sorrow
- anger
- emptiness
And sometimes it can also become too much, too fast. Then it is no longer about development. But about the system becoming overloaded.
What do you do then?
First and foremost:
you do not do more – you do less ♥️
→ Read the article "From Chaos to Clarity", which builds on "When Inner Expansion Becomes Overload", but which is equally relevant in the work with the shadow.
What consequences can it have?
🌿 When it happens at the right pace:
- deeper self-knowledge
- more stability
- less reactivity
- greater acceptance
- clearer boundaries
💔 When it goes too fast:
- increased anxiety
- identity confusion
- feeling of losing your footing
- isolation
What do you actually gain?
Perhaps the most important:
freedom.
When you no longer need to:
- deny parts of yourself
- project on others
- fight to be “right”
Then something still but powerful happens.
You become more:
- whole
- honest with yourself
- present
Not perfect. But real.
How do you do it – concretely?
You do not need to go deep right away.
You can start here:
1. Notice your reactions:
What triggers you most often carries information.
2. Write:
Without filter. Not so that it will be beautiful – it should be true.
3. Stay for a while:
When something feels uncomfortable – do not immediately leave.
4. Separate from now:
Many reactions belong to the past, not the present.
Techniques that can help
- journaling (reflective writing)
- body scan
- therapy (e.g. psychodynamic, trauma-focused, healing)
- somatic presence (body-based work)
- breathing (without forcing)
- mirroring in safe relationships
Spiritual and body-focused techniques that can support the process
Shadow work does not only need to happen through conversation or analysis. For many, the deepest work happens in stillness, in the body and in what cannot always be put into words.
But here it is important to distinguish between supportive practices and those that drive the process too fast.
What can help – when done gently:
Guided meditations with a focus on safety
Not to “travel away”, but to land in the body and create contact with what feels – in small steps.
Sound healing / sound therapy
Vibrations from a drum, singing bowls or nature sounds can help the nervous system regulate itself without you needing to understand everything mentally.
Shamanic-inspired work (with the right guidance)
Such as meeting inner images or symbols – but always with a focus on returning, integrating and landing.
Energy work / healing / hypnosis
Can be experienced as gentle support, but should never replace grounding or bodily presence.
Touch and body-focused work
Massage, light touch or holding yourself can be more healing than many “high” experiences.
The important thing is not what you do – but how it feels afterwards.
👉 Do you feel more present, calm and in contact with yourself – then you are on the right track.
👉 Do you feel more fragmented or far away – then it is too much right now.
What does research say today?
Modern fields such as:
- neuroscience
- trauma research
- attachment theory
show that much of what we call “shadow” today can be understood as:
→ parts of the nervous system that have not become regulated
→ feelings that have not been fully processed
→ strategies we have developed to survive
So it is not about something being wrong with you. It is about something at one point not having room.
Who can help?
Not everyone.
And this is important.
Seek someone who:
- is stable themselves
- does not romanticize the process
- understands the nervous system
- does not press you deeper than you are ready for
It can be:
- therapist
- coach with trauma competence
Self-help at the right pace – with gentleness and balance
Development does not need to be heavy all the time. It needs to be sustainable.
🌿 Small steps go a long way
- one insight at a time
- one feeling at a time
- one moment of presence
💛 Let it be beautiful too
After you have been in something deep:
- drink a cup of tea
- take a warm shower
- go out into nature
- listen to music
- rest
It is not escape. It is regulation.
✨ Create a safe rhythm
- alternate depth with simplicity
- alternate inner work with everyday life
- alternate seriousness with lightness
☮ Become your own safe place
You may stop.
You may pause.
And you may say: that is enough for today.
A little tip
Shadow work is not about digging up everything. It is about meeting what shows itself – at the pace you can manage to carry.
And perhaps the most important of all
You do not need to be finished. You may just want to become more true – to and for yourself ♥️
© by HerMine’s