Shadow Work – facing what we didn't want to see
Today I want to go a little deeper.
Because behind everything called development, awakening, and inner journey, there is an area that we tend to avoid because it requires courage, patience, and a large dose of honesty:
the shadow.
What does the concept mean?
The concept of "shadow" in both psychological and spiritual contexts comes from Carl Gustav Jung*, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who lived between 1875 and 1961. He was one of the first to delve deeply into the unconscious and described how parts of our personality that we do not wish to identify with are repressed, forming what he called "the shadow." Jung believed that true development is not about becoming lighter – but about becoming whole.
*Carl Gustav Jung was a pioneer in in-depth psychology and laid the foundation for analytical psychology. He introduced concepts such as the collective unconscious, archetypes, and individuation – the process of becoming who one fundamentally is. His interest in the spiritual showed itself early through his fascination with dreams, symbols, and the unconscious, but also through his own inner experiences – as well as a frustration that his father, who was a priest, could not answer his questions, while his mother carried a more mystical and intuitive side. Through his work, he often moved on the boundary between psychology and what even today cannot be fully explained.
What exactly is the shadow?
The shadow is not “evil”. It is what we have learned we are not allowed to be.
It can be:
- anger
- envy
- need for control
- shame
- need for validation
- vulnerability
- strength we haven't dared to embrace and similar
All those things that were once not accepted – by the environment, or by ourselves. So we repressed them. But nothing just disappears – it is instead moved into the unconscious.
What does shadow work entail?
Shadow work is about:
→ becoming aware of what has been hidden
→ daring to feel it
→ understanding it
→ and finally – either a) changing it, or b) accepting it and learning to live with it, so that it no longer controls you
It is thus not about “fixing yourself” - it is about stopping to run from yourself.
How can one approach it?
Not by forcing or over-analyzing. Instead, it starts with becoming more aware of oneself in everyday life and taking the time to listen inwards.
The shadow often manifests indirectly as, for example:
- in strong reactions to others
- in triggers
- in recurring patterns
- in what we judge
- in what we avoid
And some simple questions we can ask ourselves at the moment we notice a strong or uncomfortable reaction, in ourselves or in our own behavior, can be, for example:
- What in this truly belongs to me?
- What does this awaken in me?
- Why now?
- Have I felt this way before?
- If yes, when did it start?
- Am I reacting to what is actually happening?
- Or to something older?
-
What do I actually need - right now?
It’s about:
→ pausing
→ becoming curious instead of judgmental
→ and creating a small distance between yourself and the reaction
And sometimes it's enough just to notice:
“This is something happening within me – but it is not all of me.”
Something begins to change there.
How dark can it be?
Here we need to be honest, as shadow work can indeed become quite heavy.
Sometimes you encounter:
- old wounds
- repressed memories
- emotions you haven't had access to
- parts of yourself you are ashamed of
It can feel like:
- confusion
- grief
- anger
- emptiness
And sometimes it can even be too much, too fast. Then it's no longer about development. But about the system becoming overloaded.
What do you do then?
First and foremost:
you don't do more – you do less ♥️
→ You may want to read the article "From Chaos to Clarity", which builds on "When Inner Expansion Becomes Overload", but is equally relevant to shadow work.
What could the consequences be?
🌿 When it happens at the right pace:
- deeper self-knowledge
- more stability
- less reactivity
- greater acceptance
- clearer boundaries
💔 When it goes too fast:
- increased anxiety
- identity confusion
- feeling of losing one's footing
- isolation
What do you actually gain?
Perhaps the most important thing:
freedom.
When you no longer need to:
- deny parts of yourself
- project onto others
- struggle to be "right"
Then something quiet but powerful happens.
You become more:
- whole
- honest with yourself
- present
Not perfect. But real.
How to do it – concretely?
You don't need to go deep immediately.
You can start here:
1. Notice your reactions:
What triggers you the most often carries information.
2. Write:
Without filter. Not for it to be beautiful – it should be true.
3. Stay for a while:
When something feels uncomfortable – don't leave immediately.
4. Separate then from now:
Many reactions belong to the past, not the present.
Techniques that can help
- journaling (reflective writing)
- body scanning
- therapy (e.g., psychodynamic, trauma-focused, healing)
- somatic presence (body-based work)
- breathing (without forcing)
- mirroring in safe relationships
Spiritual and body-based techniques that can support the process
Shadow work doesn't just have to happen through conversation or analysis. For many, the deepest work occurs in stillness, in the body, and in what cannot always be put into words.
But here it's important to distinguish between supportive practices and those that accelerate the process too quickly.
What can help – when done gently:
Guided meditations with a focus on safety
Not to "travel away", but to land in the body and create contact with what is felt – in small steps.
Sound healing / sound therapy
Vibrations from a drum, singing bowls, or nature sounds can help the nervous system regulate itself without you needing to mentally understand everything.
Shamanically inspired work (with proper guidance)
Like encountering inner images or symbols – but always with a focus on returning, integrating, and grounding.
Energy work / healing / hypnosis
Can feel like soft support, but should never replace grounding in reality or bodily presence.
Touch and body-based work
Massage, light touch, or holding oneself can be more healing than many "high" experiences.
The important thing is not what you do – but how it feels afterward.
👉 If you feel more present, calm, and in touch with yourself – then you are on the right track.
👉 If you feel more fragmented or distant – then it's too much right now.
What does current research say?
Modern fields such as:
- neuroscience
- trauma research
- attachment theory
show that much of what we call "shadow" today can be understood as:
→ parts of the nervous system that have not been regulated
→ emotions that have not been fully processed
→ strategies we developed to survive
So it's not about something being wrong with you. It's about something once not having a place.
Who can help?
Not everyone.
And this is important.
Look for someone who:
- is stable themselves
- doesn't romanticize the process
- understands the nervous system
- doesn't push you deeper than you're ready for
It can be:
- a therapist
- a coach with trauma competence
Self-help at the right pace – with gentleness and balance
Development doesn't have to be heavy all the time. It needs to be sustainable.
🌿 Small steps go a long way
- one insight at a time
- one feeling at a time
- a moment of presence
💛 Let it be beautiful too
After you've been in something deep:
- drink a cup of tea
- take a warm shower
- go out into nature
- listen to music
- rest
It's not escape. It's regulation.
✨ Create a safe rhythm
- alternate depth with simplicity
- alternate inner work with everyday life
- alternate seriousness with lightness
☮ Become your own safe space
You are allowed to stay.
You are allowed to pause.
And you are allowed to say: that's enough for today.
A small tip
Shadow work is not about digging everything up. It's about meeting what presents itself – at a pace you can bear.
And perhaps the most important thing of all
You don't need to be complete. You might just want to be more true – to and for yourself ♥️
© by HerMine’s
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